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The Media Is Lying to You About Apple

Tickers in this article: AAPL BBRY MSFT NOK

NEW YORK ( TheStreet) -- If you take a step back and consider what has happened in tech over the last several weeks, it's difficult to deny that there's a hate campaign , even if exists in some collective subconscious, against Apple .

I'll spare you too many links and YouTube videos; if you follow this stuff, you've seen or heard about everything I will mention. And, if not, trust me because I'm beholden to nobody or nothing . . . not overnight ratings, page views or a big or boutique Wall Street firm.

It's simply an exercise in funny to skim the outskirts of your memory and summarize the lunacy we ultimately dismiss in favor of the noise we can't ignore.

You have Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer falling into a glass table, bloodying himself, during Nokia buyout discussions. The guy tripped and fell or whatever. We all do it from time to time. I'm glad he's okay. So it's not the specifics of the incident that make it worth mentioning; it's just a fitting metaphor for the complete and total ineptitude that has marked his watch over Microsoft's still-pending demise.

Here's a guy who writes down nearly a billion dollars' worth of Surface tablets after touting how well things were going. Where's the SEC when you need them ? We'll skip the in-between and just get to his most recent botched experiment in competition -- that Apple-mocking spoof that was so bad Microsoft had to pull it .

But wait, there's more!

On Tuesday, Microsoft pulls a fresh buyback and increased dividend from its tired bag of tricks to pump its stock.

Now, to be fair and provide proper context, I must note that this is an annual occurrence for Microsoft, particularly the dividend hike. Lots of companies who pay dividends regularly raise them on schedule. In fact, the last time Microsoft didn't up the dividend was between FY 2009 and FY 2010. And the timing of this one isn't even suspect; it follows a predictable chronological pattern.

But, again, I -- and others -- chided Apple -- and rightfully so -- for resorting to a dividend and buyback. That plan has hardly worked. All it does is allow guys like David Einhorn to report a better-looking profit/loss column. We should chide Microsoft here for not doing the opposite. If it really wants to get real with investors, it could say, we're suspending these payments because, unlike Apple, we're focused on putting all of our resources toward not ending up like BlackBerry .

But, whatever, Ballmer's family jewels appear to have left him at the same pace as his hair.

Then there's the Microsoft/Nokia response to the Apple iPhone 5S/5C event.

It's akin to the Toronto Maple Leafs taking out a full-page ad in the Boston Globe ahead of their next game against the Bruins boasting something like You want some more?