Adult Kids Moving In? Don't Let Them Slouch Back Into Being a Teen
NEW YORK (AdviceIQ) -- Are you ready to have your adult children living at home with you? Like it or not, it's a distinct possibility. So you need to make some rules and plans for this homecoming to work.
According to a Pew Research Center survey done recently, almost a third of adult children's parents in the United States are seeing their offspring move back home.
With one child living overseas and another away at college, I can tell you that it would be a dream come true to have my kids back home -- for me. But I know that my children, like yours, strive to be independent. Living at home is not my kids' first choice, and the same is probably true about your children.
They move back home because it's difficult to land a job these days. Plus, wages are low and the cost of living is high. What is the best way to make this situation work for everyone involved?
1. Ground rules
Rather than imposing rules on your children, treat them as the adults they are. Bring up topics that are important to you and ask them what issues they want to raise. Here is a partial list of important agenda items:
To make sure there are no misunderstandings down the road, I strongly suggest that you have a written agreement that both you and your children sign, spelling out these rules.
2. The costs
Don't make your kids feel guilty, but let them know what you are giving up (if anything) by this new living arrangement. Do the added food costs make it harder to reach your own financial goals? Do you have to give up your free time to shuttle them around or watch your grandchildren? Be honest about it. If you try to pretend there isn't any problem with the new situation, you might build up resentment that bubbles up at the wrong time.