The 5 Dumbest Things on Wall Street: Predictions for 2013
NEW YORK ( TheStreet) -- We made it, Dumbest fans! It's 2013, and we're still kicking. Hopefully you enjoyed your New Year's celebration and have by now shaken off the vicious hangover from all the unhealthy things you absorbed over the holiday season.
Yes, we, too, didn't think our bodies could stand a second more of CNBC's unrelenting, merciless fiscal-cliff coverage, but in the end -- unlike those unfortunate Mayans -- we survived.
Speaking of the Mayans, all their wacky end-of-the-world predictions really got us thinking that we should get into that business too. Not the extinction part, of course. We're talking about the prognostication part. Heck, if Wall Street's analyst community can make wildly inaccurate forecasts every January and still keep their jobs, then why can't we?
And those folks make a ton more dough than us overeducated, underpaid ink-stained wretches!
So, without any further ado, please find The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street: Predictions 2013 . They may not all come to pass, but, boy, would it be a hoot if they did!
5. Dick's Triumphant Return
We can see it now: A mammoth neon sign hanging high above the corner of Wall and Broad Streets, warmly welcoming hungry tourists from both the Near and Far East. The aroma of roasted garlic and tomato paste seductively wafting through New York's historic financial district, alluring bulls and bears alike to step inside and sample the delectable Southern Italian fare simmering inside.
Look for it folks, because it's opening downtown in 2013: Grasso's Restaurant and Day Trade.
That's right. We're betting that Dick Grasso, the former chief of the New York Stock Exchange (NYX) and one-time King of the Club will return to his throne in the coming year. And if we're correct, he's going to be badder and balder than ever.
Here's why: In case you missed it, New York City enjoyed a bull market in Italian restaurants in 2012. Bill Clinton fave Il Mulino opened a branch uptown and the Food Channel's Guy Fieri rolled into Gotham with a massive, although much maligned, outpost in Times Square. Meanwhile, legendary Le Cirque founder Sirio Maccioni opened Sirio at the famed Pierre Hotel in midtown while Rao's continued to turn away customers not named Gasparino way up in Harlem.
Yes, there can be no doubt that last year was an abbondanza for vowel-ended eateries in Manhattan. Everywhere but downtown, that is. And you can be sure that if we noticed this trend, Dick Grasso did as well.
Where has Dick been since he left the NYSE in 2003? We're not sure. Perhaps in his hideaway somewhere, biding his time and counting the $140 million he took when he left the exchange almost a decade ago.