9 God-Awful Dating Apps
NEW YORK ( MainStreet) Happy Valentine's Day -- it's time to make dating harder.
About 15 minutes after the smartphone was invented, someone tried using it to get laid. That led to the first dating app. Smartphone dating got popular, copycats and variations on the theme exploded and soon the market was flooded with apps promising to help anyone with an iPhone find a mate.
Then things got weird. Over the past decade, apps have evolved that cater to every possible demographic, including some that we here at MainStreet truly hope don't exist. For every Match.com and eHarmony out there, there's a Carrot or Bangwithfriends that makes a living handing out worse romance advice than your twice divorced friend after a date with the tequila.
Some dating apps will help you find love and happiness. These are not those apps.
Lulu does many things, but it's known for only one: allowing girls to judge their male friends. Only girls can create an account on the app. The interface checks through Facebook, and once logged in, girls can either rate men already listed on the site or those with whom they're Facebook friends. #snores, #lousytipper, #creepy, etc. Of course, all of this happens anonymously, because using your real name would ruin all the fun.
Lulu is designed to bring out the worst in everyone. This is a digital bathroom wall dedicated to leaving anonymous comments about exes. How did anybody think this would turn out? Did anyone imagine this could possibly end well?
Of course not. While positive ratings exist, they're few and far between. Lulu's content is mostly written by the bored, the bitter and the vengeful. There's no oversight, no feedback and no way for a guy even to know his ex girlfriend wrote "crazy stalker" to get back at him for moving on. It would be a bad idea if men did it and works no better coming from women.
"Bribe your way to a date."
That is, in fact, the actual slogan of Carrot, the first app to put the "prostitute" back in dating. (Author's note: I'm informed that this was never, in fact, actually a part of dating.)
The tagline is self explanatory, along with the site's cheerful proclamation that "Gifts = Dates." You search the profiles and pick someone to buy a date, then send the person a bribe. The bribe is whatever gift you're willing to give if the person actually shows up for a rendez-vous of Haribo sugarless gummy bears, baconnaise and a guy sporting the Three Wolf tee. It's the way a rejected guy thinks without an ounce of self reflection. Of course he's not uninteresting; women just want someone who'll buy them lots of things.