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The Most Moronic Company Policies I Encountered in 2012

Tickers in this article: DIS VZ
The company's solution: It will sell me high-speed Internet for about $19.99 a month, which I am willing to pay ... so long as it's bundled with a landline, which means the cost rises to a minimum $34.99, which I am not willing to pay. Because: Landline! Guess what, Verizon, the only reason I need your Internet is to have a signal booster to make my cellphone work. It would be pretty stupid to get a landline in my apartment so I can use my iPhone instead.

But the company is unwilling to budge on this even when I point out that I have outdone their Internet-landline bundle by already buying an iPhone and Mi-Fi wireless hotspot from them, each with their own service plans.

My solution: I pay my upstairs neighbor $15 a month to use their excellent Internet (better than the 0.5 to 1 Mbps I could have bought for that $34.99) and I use Skype to make calls when I'm in my apartment, costing me maybe a few buck a month. And when my contracts are up for my Verizon devices, I'm switching to Sprint (S) . Or whatever.

The result: Verizon may make some short-term money by forcing Victrolas on the iPod crowd, but in the long term it's just sending its customers away by making them feel ripped off. Heck, I wanted to give Verizon my money, yet it's answer was to try to extort even more of it. Hard to believe I'm the only person planning to walk away from a company that wants to force its customers to pay more for living in the previous century -- especially when it's their solution for fixing a problem I have with another one of their super-expensive products.

What I want: To know why my package didn't reach its destination in Europe, where it is and when it will arrive.

The problem: A long line at the post office that leads me to a postal worker who doesn't know how to help me. But the other guy can. I just have to wait another half-hour while the other guy deals with a customer with a hellacious amount of packages to send. Ultimately, that guy can't help me either.

The company's solution: There's a phone number I can call to use the tracking number on my receipt. But it took me 45 minutes to find out what that was, and the second postal worker threatens me because he doesn't like my attitude -- even though that attitude built up because I waited the better part of an hour. Apparently, part of the U.S. government's postal worker training is to tell only some employees about a phone number.

My solution: Why not just print on the receipt that phone number with the note that all questions about expensive, missing overseas packages should be referred to that phone number? And that, in fact, going to a post office will be a waste of time? That would help customers and postal workers who are more swamped than ever -- because the U.S. Postal Service is in massive debt and cutting workers and offices to make up for it.