NEW YORK ( MainStreet) — By now most of us know about the remarkable business card of Cheng Guangbiao, a Chinese billionaire who made the news recently for his unsuccessful offer to purchase the New York Times . For anyone who hasn't seen it yet, take a look here. It's a remarkable piece of work caught somewhere between performance art and outright lunacy. Next to his contact information and corporate details, the card also proudly introduces Guangbiao as "China Moral Leader," an earthquake rescue hero and one of the county's top ten most honorable volunteers.

It's probably for the best that Guangbiao failed to purchase the Times since, among other goals, he'd vowed reforms to the paper's excellent coverage of China. Still, in honor of Guangbiao's marvelous train wreck of a business card we here at MainStreet decided to go out and find some of the worst and weirdest business cards on the rest of the Internet. Here are our top results.

The Condom Card

Jokes aside about starting off this list with a bang, the condom card is the result of a Romanian advertising agency trying to help a local divorce lawyer get an edge on the competition.

This business card has everything a businessman could want: suggestive placement, lurid colors and of course silhouettes of prospective clients in a variety of suggestive poses. Of course, that only really works when the business in question is pornography. For everyone else, allow me to suggest a simple rule of thumb: NSFW should not apply to your card.

The Catchy Card

I started off thinking this card was obnoxious. Then I decided it's kind of a little sad. Then I realized it's infuriating, because in less time than it took to read this sentence, it stuck Carly Rae Jepsen's anthem to teen indecision ponging around in my skull.

It won't go away, and I blame, you Mr. Italian Guy.

Look, my track record with women gets described charitably as "a cautionary tale," so ordinarily I'm not the best one to give out advice on meeting the fairer sex. Yet even I know that step one of meeting a girl is mustering up the courage to talk to her. Do not ask her out via note, and do not deliver your unsolicited number, risk rejection and actually ask for hers.

Above all else, though, and I can't believe I actually have to say this, do not quote teen pop lyrics when trying to meet women.

The Meat Card

I have no words.

The Bad Parking Card

Bad parking often inspires muttered threats of violence, typically after passing two spaces gobbled up inconsiderately by a single vehicle. For sane people, that's where it ends. You drive by, mutter imprecations under your breath until another spot opens up, then park the car and head off to plot dark things for the slowest person in line at the Starbucks.